unimaginable

that is the only word i can think of to describe today. and i don't know if i am spelling it correctly. nothing worse than a homeschool mom who doesn't use capitals and can't spell :)

THE BOTTOM OF THIS POST IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. PLEASE DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ ABOUT THE GENOCIDE THAT HAPPENED IN RWANDA IN 1994.....

today we visited two genocide memorials before driving north. tomorrow we visit sonrise church and school and then the imbabazi orphanage. we have opted to attend the early service where the primary school children sing. no doubt, it will be incredible and moving.

i have so many things in my heart that they feel a jumbled mess. i have no idea how we will process it all. it has been interesting as early in the trip, africa had not captured my heart yet. for some reason, i felt a loyalty to asia and i couldn't imagine feeling the same toward another continent. and then God showed me that my heart is big enough to fall in love with two completely different cultures.

the countryside here is beyond beautiful. the 'hill's are numerous, lush, and breathtaking. and it can easily be overshadowed with the poverty if you let it. for us in america, everything is well-kept, smooth, in nice neat little boxes. here it is bumpy, muddy, dim, rundown, and the hardship people endure is beyond my understanding. people walk 3-4 hours to work and then back again. literally, everyday is survival. the numbers of people you see walking along the roadsides is wild. we arrived here at night and the people are still walking and hanging out in front of their dark shack houses. my mind keeps going back to the night hours. i think, okay, pick a room of your house. rip up the flooring. take out all the contents. lose the electricity. remove the door and windows. put tin on for the roof. if you need to use the bathroom, go outside. if you want to eat, grow it. if you want water, get your five gallon container and start walking. there you have life in rwanda.

life is hard here. in america, we make life hard. my guess is that this is a slight step up from haiti.

if you have not read the book 'left to tell', please get it (see author in first post). if you are not aware of the rwandan genocide, you are not alone. the world and the united nations missed it too. in 1992, there were isolated incidents and people here began asking for help and not one country decided to notice. in the US, we were watching OJ simpson get away with murder, the tonya harding/nancy kerrigan debacle, and listening to president clinton lie about his relationship with monica lewinsky. in 1994, 2 million rwandas (the population is 7 million) were killed. i am going to completely simplify what happened, and hopefully will get the facts correct.

there were two primary tribes: the tutsis and the hutus. the hutus accounted for approximately 85% of the population and the tutsis 15%. in a nutshell, the hutus wanted to exterminate the tutsis. think hitler and german supremacy. a rebel militia group worked on a plan to pull it off for several years and then put the plan into action. the country's president was shot down and the killings began. what you need to understand is that the tutsis and hutus were friends with each other. the propoganda was sophisticated and extensive. on april 7, the massacre started. and it lasted for three months with the entire country effected. the tutsis tried to hide. we visited a church memorial today where 10,000-11,000 were killed. they had sought refuge. charles, who showed us the grounds, was one of of seven survivors. he was nine. we were the only ones there today in the rain, and it was haunting. all the victims' clothes lie in piles. mass graves. skulls in boxes. one pregnant woman who was a hutu was married to a tutsi. she would not kill him so the killers tied her to the church altar and opened her womb while saying 'all cockroaches must die.' cockroaches were what they called all tutsi. the killers offered to kill individuals by gunshot, instead of machete, if they paid them money. charles said the killers came playing drums and whistles and singing 'kill all cockroaches'. he still hears the music in his head. and this scenario was being repeated all over the country leaving no one behind. women and children were especially targeted. women were raped repeatedly and HIV left its mark over and over again. the horror cannot be understood. to say it was heart-wrenching, is beyond an understatement. there is so much more to know, and i encourage you to seek it out. nothing like this should ever be allowed to be repeated.

the amazing part is the restoration of the people. this was only 16 years ago. everyone here pretty much lived the genocide. and yet they have had to forgive or die in their spirit.

on a lighter note, we are seeking your prayers regarding adopting esther. we have many strikes against us. but if God wants this child in our family, we want her desperately. the group we are here with has many contacts and tomorrow night, the question will be posed if it would be possible to remove the barriers which would allow for her adoption. and i beg you, if you have ever ever kinda sorta toyed with the idea of adoption, do it. i have never so clearly seen the reason why people need to adopt. there is nothing, absolutely nothing -- apart from salvation --that a child needs more than a family. please set aside every selfish reason we can come up with for not adopting and just do it. please pray about it.